I grew up in a family of 10. My siblings and I had household responsibilities, and I'm raising my kids to be independent, too.

• Laura Wallace, 42, grew up in a family of 10.
• She says she and her siblings all had their own responsibilities around the house.
• She also believes there are pros and cons to having a big family.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Laura Wallace, a 42-year-old from Melbourne, Australia. It has been edited for length and clarity.

As one of eight kids, growing up in a bigger family came with plenty of positives, but there were some challenges, too. Now that I'm a mom myself, I think my upbringing has definitely influenced the way I parent.

My mom grew up in a family with three kids, and her siblings were considerably older than she was. She always felt like she was alone, which is why she wanted lots of children herself. I was her third child.

My siblings and I all had our responsibilities at home

Our household was always chaotic, but it was well-run. I grew up in Traralgon, in regional Victoria, Australia. During my earlier years, we lived in a three-bedroom house, but when my mom had twins (the fifth and sixth youngest kids in my family), we moved to a seven-bedroom house.

Mom did a lot of delegating. We all had jobs we were responsible for. We weren't allowed to go out after school because we had to come home and tidy. We always used to complain because she liked everything perfectly clean, like a model home. It was nothing like my house now. I'm still rebelling.

Being child number three, I had a fair amount of responsibility from an early age. I remember looking after my younger siblings and helping out from when I was about 7. We also started cooking dinner quite early. I was probably 11 when I started making dinner for the family.

Because we were a bigger family, getting around town was interesting. Mom and Dad drove us around in a Nissan Urvan, a light commercial van designed for fleet use. It was white and had a green and pink squiggle along the side, so you always knew we were coming.

Once, I remember when Dad showed up at high school in a new blue van with blacked-out windows. We were out the front of the school and heard this "brrrrrrrrr" noise. It was Dad, and he was waving. He'd gone to beep for us, and the horn got stuck. We were so embarrassed we pretended like we didn't know him and walked home. Meanwhile, he had to drive the whole way home with the horn on. It makes me laugh now just thinking about it.

There are pros and cons to having a bigger family

When you grow up in a bigger family, there is always someone around. That's kind of a positive and a negative, I guess. We never really got time to ourselves, but it was also nice in some ways. I still like that now — always having family around and having someone to talk to.

My siblings and I shared a lot of friends, too.

Financially, it was challenging for Mom and Dad. They both had to work. Dad was a boilermaker, and Mom had odd jobs. For a long time, she was a security guard. They didn't have money for extra-curricular activities like sports. I also had to start contributing financially to the household when I reached 15 and got a job.

Because we had to always help around the house, I often felt like we had to grow up early, especially the older kids. I still find that now, with my three youngest siblings, I'm like their mom in some ways. They'll come to me for advice.

Mom and Dad split after my youngest sibling was born. Then, in 2006, Mom died of lung cancer. I was only 23, and I had to organize the funeral with my siblings, which was hard. In some ways, though, it actually brought my siblings and me closer together. Prior to that, we never said, "I love you." It was always assumed, but we just didn't say it.

I want my kids to be independent, too

Now that I'm a mom myself, I have high expectations of my two girls. I was cooking dinner at the age of 11, and my youngest daughter does the same (though she's only cooking for four people rather than 10). They've been making their own school lunches since they were in second grade and putting away their own laundry. I haven't babied them. I want them to be independent.

I don't look back on my childhood and think of it as a horrible time. I enjoyed growing up with a big family and still love the memories we made together.