Parenting adult kids is harder than little ones. I had more control when they were young.

• I never envisioned what life would look like when my kids were adults, but here we are.
• Regardless of where they are, they still come to me first.
• I've learned to wait and not to give unsolicited advice.

I never imagined how my life would look when my kids were grown and gone. But I blinked, and here we are, living as beautifully and chaotically as when they were little. Now and then, I get sweet little reminders that I must have done something right — like when all three kids called me simultaneously during a tornado warning last spring.

The weather here in the Midwest can be wicked, and that spring day was no exception — severe thunderstorms, trees down, power outages, and tornado sirens wailing. One call after the other, the older two, called to check on me. The youngest just needed her mama.

It's in moments like these I realize just how lucky I am. No matter where they are in their lives, I am still the one they (usually) turn to first. The one thing that stays the same is they need their mom as much as I need them.

Parenting adult kids is hard

I have often wondered if I got this parenting thing right. I have long said parenting adult children is just as hard — if not harder — than raising little ones. When they were younger, I had more control. I could guide their choices, set boundaries, and fix things when they went wrong. Now? Not so much.

Young people think they know everything. They are convinced their parents are hopelessly out of touch. Long past the teenage years, mine still do sometimes, and I often wonder if they even like us at all. They ignore my advice, roll their eyes at my warnings, and make their own way. As much as I would love to save them from the same mistakes I made, they have to figure it out themselves.

They always come back

Not long ago, my kids were discussing a problem one of them was having. The conversation ended with my daughter saying, "So, Mom was right." My son responded, "F'ing Mom. She's always right!" (If only they had listened the first time.)

My oldest recently had a new built-in pantry installed and wanted to organize it. I made a few suggestions, but she didn't think they made sense, so she did it her way. A few weeks later, she called and said, "Mom, I need you to organize my pantry. I need you to just do it." That pantry sure is nice now.

That week, it was the pantry. The next? The garden. This week? One of them needed tax help.

I rarely offer unsolicited advice anymore. I've learned to wait, to be quiet, and to let them come to me — and they almost always do.

Mom, I need your opinion.

Mom, what do I do about…?

Mom, how do I…?

Mom...?

MOM!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

I don't claim to have all the answers. But we grown-ups know some things. We've lived, learned, gotten our butts kicked six ways to Sunday, and survived more than they realize. Eventually, they figured that out, too.

It's beautiful and chaotic

I've won the lottery in life with this full, beautiful, chaotic mess. The best part? They all live within a few minutes of me.

My oldest, a perfectly healthy 36-year-old who had a major stroke two years ago, lives just a few houses away. Having my granddaughters down the street makes life all the sweeter. My son has moved back home to find his footing, and my youngest daughter lives just five minutes away, relying on all of us as she navigates new motherhood. We are relishing life with a newborn.

Some days, my house feels like Grand Central Terminal. Most days, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

They still (usually) call me first

My goal was always to raise kind, caring, compassionate people. It was never about being the best in class or excelling in sports. It was about being good humans. I may not have always gotten it right, but I sure tried. As luck would have it, they excelled in school and sports, too!

That stormy spring day, as I fielded phone calls from all three of them like an old-school switchboard operator, trying to keep track of the weather, the dogs, and taking cover, I had one overwhelming thought: I was proud of all of them for calling their mom.

Even in the chaos, that was enough to make me pause, smile, and know that, despite all my doubts, all the hard days, and all the moments I questioned if I was doing it right, I must have done something right after all.